what i’m looking for in a man:
- will lend me his hoodies
- good sense of humor
- is a cutie patootie
- will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood
- good taste in music
(via youurincontrolofmyheart)
why am i not a banana
Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50 - 60% of your DNA with a banana.
thanks man
are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than other people
(via sheflieswithherownwiings)
- Have you ever:
- 1. Skipped class?
- 2. Done drugs?
- 3. Self harmed?
- 4. Drank?
- 5. Shoplifted?
- 6. Gotten a tattoo?
- 7. Broken up with someone?
- What's your favorite:
- 8. Show?
- 9. Movie?
- 10. Song?
- 11. Tumblr?
- 12. Singer/Band?
- 13. Memory?
- 14. Book?
- This or that:
- 15. Invisibility or Ability to fly?
- 16. Cookies or Cake?
- 17. Twitter or Facebook?
- 18. Movies or Books?
- 19. Coke or Sprite?
- 20. Blind or Deaf?
- 21. Tea or Coffee?
- What's your:
- 22. Name?
- 23. Sign?
- 24. Height?
- 25. Sexual orientation?
- 26. Shoe size?
- 27. Religion?
- 28. Longest relationship?
- Opinion on:
- 29. Gay rights?
- 30. Second chances?
- 31. Long distance relationships?
- 32. Abortion?
- 33. The death penalty?
- 34. Marijuana ?
- 35. Love?
- Do you:
- 36. Believe in ghost?
- 37. Shower facing the shower head or turned away from it?
- 38. Sleep with the door opened or closed?
- 39. Love someone?
- 40. Still watch cartoons?
- 41. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
- 42. Like yourself?
Best Vines of May 2013 (Part 1)
(Source: nsfwhumor, via te3nage-yearz)
- That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA
- That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD
- Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word?
- THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?!
- Can I sleep?
- If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand?
- You can’t pronounce THAT word?
- WHAT THE HELL
- The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for
- My skin’s crawling
- Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a dying chalkboard
- You skipped a line
- LOL what was that?
- I don’t even.
(Source: youcanbethecaptain, via thatfunnymuff-nguyen)
they call me macklemore in math class because im like
what what what what what
what what what what what what what
what what what what
(via hannahemoore)
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
(via fallouthomosapien)
